The impact of burnout on my stammer

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Liv

Lecturer Liv Durning tells us how taking on too much at work affected her speech confidence, and shares her tips for coping.

'Burnout' is a term we hear a lot these days. It pops up in the news, on social media, and in the workplace as a warning to take note of its signs before it progresses. Burnout is when you feel mentally and emotionally drained, making it difficult to function effectively. Often, it's triggered by work or education-based stress but can also result from other pressures.

Burnout symptoms include fatigue, mental fogginess, decreased ability to handle tough situations, and sometimes even feelings of low mood, depression or anxiety. After battling burnout myself, I discovered some unexpected symptoms.

Questioning my abilities

In December of 2023, I found myself in the midst of burnout after committing to too many projects at work at one time. I felt swamped, worn out and mentally foggy. What took me by surprise was the impact on my stammer — as someone who stammers covertly, I typically consciously embrace specific techniques to manage my fluency. As I became more burned out, I was losing the mental energy required to employ those techniques and was stammering more as a result. As a lecturer in nursing, I was worried that this was affecting my ability to communicate effectively.  

Until this point, I was confident in my teaching. I can usually manage my stammer and my students are aware of it and know to allow time for me to speak in sessions. However, burnout had caused me to start questioning my teaching abilities as I was finding I was blocking far more frequently, and staff I taught alongside were having to take over for me as I couldn't bring my words forward. 

...when you're deep in burnout, your own thoughts often carry more weight than others' opinions.

My frustration grew and my confidence began to plummet. At my lowest point, burnout anxiety had convinced me that my students would be put at a disadvantage if I was to teach them. It became a vicious cycle — my stammer's unpredictability and reduced fluency led to a loss of confidence, which made me stammer more.

It's important to recognise that at no point had any member of staff or student expressed to me that the quality of the teaching I provided during that time had been hindered by my stammer. However, as many of you probably understand, when you're deep in burnout, your own thoughts often carry more weight than others' opinions, whether they are true or not.

I feel incredibly lucky to have been part of a team with such attentive and understanding colleagues who saw the signs of burnout before I did. They made it possible for me to open up about my anxieties regarding my speech and teaching. At the time I didn't realise how much burnout was affecting my speech, but looking back, it all makes sense.

Added pressure

Fatigue can impact anyone's speech, whether or not they stammer. How many times have you come home from a long day and struggled to get a simple word out? It's just like that! However, in burnout, that can happen from the moment you wake up to the time you go to bed. If you stammer, the challenge is even greater. Coping with burnout on top of a stammer demands additional mental exertion compared to people without speech difficulties. Using speech techniques demanded more mental energy, which I simply did not possess. It's no surprise that I felt far more exhausted than my colleagues.

quality sleep was a game changer for my burnout recovery. 

I used to constantly compare myself to my colleagues and wonder why I reached a point of burnout while everyone else seemed to be handling things just fine. It took me a while to realise that each of us has our own unique tolerance for stress. What may push me to burnout could be completely manageable for someone else, and vice versa.

So the question you're all wondering is 'Liv, how did you overcome burnout and get your confidence back with teaching?'. Well, there were a few things that I found beneficial so I have put them into little tips below, which might help you:

• Create a plan with your line manager — My plan involved me taking a two-week break from work to re-evaluate whether I require further time off. This was time I was instructed to use to rest and recover away from work entirely. 
• Reassess your work-life balance - I made a plan that prioritised my own wellbeing including making time for hobbies and fun activities, and passion projects. 
• Prioritise sleep - I have stammered my entire life and only during this burnout did I realise the impact of poor sleep on speech fluency. Increasingly, quality sleep was a game changer for my burnout recovery. 
• If people in your life don't know, they can't help you —  When I returned to work I knew that regaining my confidence with teaching would be a slow process so I made sure that my colleagues understood my situation. I started teaching small parts of the session at first until I could build up to leading a full day session, which worked really well.

The final tip is to make it your mission to never get to the point of burnout I reached. If I had taken stock of my mental health more regularly and recognised the signs of burnout in myself sooner, I could have accessed support sooner. So please talk to managers, teachers, friends, or family about how you are feeling regularly. Remember, no career or degree is worth burning yourself out for — look after yourselves.

If you are experiencing a similar thing to Liv, you're welcome to contact the STAMMA Support Services to talk things through. Phone our free helpline on 0808 802 0002, start a webchat or email help@stamma.org Also, see Stammering & Mental Health to find out what help is available.

Editor's note: burnout caused Liv to question her teaching abilities, but it's important to remember that having a stammer doesn't mean you're not an effective communicator.

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